Saturday, March 16, 2013

40 Days of Gratefulness - Day 28

I woke up this morning with nothing. My mind had been a mixed bag all week and while I have a gazillion things to be grateful for I simply was having trouble figuring out what I was going to do. And it's that way sometimes, you know, when you don't know what to do so you start to getting busy. Busy trying to figure things out, busy making plans, busy researching, busy being busy about something - only to realize you haven't really figured out anything at all.

Yup, you're off wasting time with reasoning and logic. First you assemble the facts, organize them, and approach the problem in an orderly fashion. You call your friends and other smart folks you know only to recognize that they haven't helped you figure it out either. Confused that I haven't really shared with you what I'm trying to figure out, it doesn't really matter what the problem is -- it only matters that I get the point. This point is that I'm not in control of anything. A very simple premise for this Christian experience but one I struggle with all the time.

In fact, I like to think of myself as a fixer. Now, I'm no Olivia Pope, but a sista' gets things done. You have an issue, I'm on the case. My mind is analytical, yup that degree in Statistics comes in handy. I can look at a problem from several perspectives, assess the pros and cons, create a model based on an array of variables, implement a variety of methods and test several hypotheses at once. I can interpret the results, make conclusions and tell you what's most likely or more probable. And while those skills are fabulous, important and absolutely a gift. I sometimes have trouble recognizing that I'm not running this thing. Let's be clear, I know Whose I am but from time to time I get it twisted.

So, when I woke up this morning with nothing to write. My roomie (Day 23) says 'you need some Word.' Guess what, she must be smarter than me because she opened up the devotional, Starting Your Day Right by Joyce Meyer and read today's devotion aloud:
"God promised to be with you, watch over you with care, take notice of you wherever you may go and bring you back again. He says He will not leave you, and He will complete all the promises He has made to you."
Whew. That thing helped me this morning. Here I was busy  ... busy worrying about all the moves I was going to make, busy running models, busy about a gazillion things I'm not in control of and busy thinking I got this. Well, I don't. I fall short all the time, I make mistakes, I'm not all knowing, I'm not omnipotent, I'm not sovereign, I can't forecast the future with my statistical models and my analytical mind. And despite my falling short, God promises to be with me and watch over me. He takes notice of me wherever I may go and He brings me back. He will not leave me and He will complete every promise he has made to me.

So on this Day 28 of 40 days of gratefulness, I'm grateful for God's promises. #beblessed #40daysofgratefulness

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