Yup, I was cast down from my grateful pedestal, ran off into the proverbial ditch and had started to see the glass as half-empty instead of hall-full. It could have been work, stupid looming sequestration or a call from the nursing home but dayum, I was out for the count - just like that. To add insult to injury, I neglected to pay my mother's phone bill so her service was 'temporarily suspended.' Now, one would think I wouldn't have forgotten because just last month my grandmother's service was 'temporarily suspended' as well because I forgot to pay that too.
Why didn't I set up auto pay? Why didn't I remember? What I should have been grateful about was that I can afford to pay both bills but I simply didn't remember to pay them. I've run the scenarios over and over again in my head and basically, it seems I've been forgetful a lot. I can't help but attribute it to my head is stuck in these 'grateful clouds' and the 3rd grader (Day 9) in me needed to get it together. I could have been grateful that our business, Better Solutions turned 10 yesterday but 25 days in and I was stuck.
So after several conversations with my Sistas-in-love (Day 3), I discovered something. I had neglected to mention, that with all my new found activities, my daily devotional and my daily bible readings had fallen off. Being grateful takes up a lot of my time. Seems I forgot this blog wasn't simply about me. I had let my guard down, I wasn't being diligent. A good friend of mine says all the time that 'spiritual warfare' is real. And here I was without my 'full armor.' That's from Ephesians 6:13 ... the message translation starts that verse with 'Be prepared.' There it was, I had forgotten to stay prayed up, hence I was no longer prepared and my perspective was off.
An honest mistake, a few of life's twists or simply being forgetful shouldn't have left me feeling like a loser and a liar. But it did. Don't get it twisted, I know that I'm a woman of my word, I'm dependable, right? But I was disappointed that after 25 days I could so easily be derailed and left feeling defeated.
Well, this morning something is at work. I feel much better by sharing my thoughts with you, I made a list to help keep me organized and I'll be continuing my daily devotional and readings. Ahh, how can today feel any different when nothing has changed yet again ... only my perspective.
So on this Day 26 of 40 days of gratefulness, I'm grateful for perspective.