40 Days of Gratefulness - Day 20

Isn't it funny how 50% doesn't seem like a good number ... unless it's percent off. Or halfway doesn't seem like you're close to the finish line at all. But, it's all how you look at it, right? On one-hand halfway is good on the other hand it's not. Nothing has changed the event you're monitoring, the only thing that has changed is you or your perspective.

All of this to say, is that I'm halfway to Easter and I would have never thought in a million years it was possible. Possible, for me to find and document 20 things I'm grateful for. I could boast because I'm excited and I am excited but ... a friends' favorite bible verse comes to mind. 1 Corinthians 15:10 'But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect.' Hmm, what you're not a bible scholar? I too, had to look it up and here's what the Message reads 'But because God was so gracious, so very generous, here I am. And I’m not about to let his grace go to waste.'

Whew. I'm not about to let his grace go to waste. There it is, that's why I was supposed to blog for these 40 days, so that his grace would not go to waste and I could share it with other people. Who knew, a little idea would bless me like it has. I can not tell you how nothing has really changed, only me. Halfway feels good, 50% feels like it's deserving of an 'A,' the glass isn't half-empty, it's half-full and I'm midway to Easter. The world hasn't changed, only me and how I view it. I'm not so bothered by a gazillion little things that used to drive me crazy. If I'm heading in to work and there's traffic, my instinct is 'grrr.' But, being in this grateful space, my response is 'Hmm, I should put on some good music.' In fact, to me gratefulness must look more like laughter because I'm laughing more than ever even when I'm alone. I've been in the 3rd grade (Day 9) forever but it's never been for any length of time like this. I'm hitting the streets everyday with a new adventure, Look for something to be grateful about.

Looking for parking could easily put me in a bad mood but now I try to park further to burn more calories or to save a few dollars. Just the other day, Bloomingdales cancelled my watch order (the horror) because my phone number didn't' match my account information. Really? Initially, it stressed me out but as 'it dissipates' gratefulness appears and I'm now thinking 'That's a few hundred dollars back in my pocketbook.' Things still bother me but they don't ruin my day and I'm annoyed for far less time. Now, I've never been the type to stay angry long or hold grudges. And, I used to wish I could but it's simply wasted energy. I could be off doing something fun and incredible.

Time spent with folks I care about feels more special. The relationship hasn't changed yet if feels different because I've changed. Going to visit my mother in the nursing home, let's be clear - it still makes me sad, I have a gazillion things I dreamed of doing with her. But I'm no longer beating myself up with guilt, moving her there was not easy but necessary. That's not to say I don't have bad days but when the negative track starts playing I recognize it immediately and get off. What do I do, you might ask? I may plank, I really do love them ;-)  Or, I may read aloud a prayer my roomie wrote for me. Or, I might call my Roomdog (Day 2) just to hear her voice, she has a great voice, it's rich and resonant. (sigh) She almost never sings but I really wish she would. Or I may simply be still (Day 19).

So today, 50% feels triumphant. For whatever it is I may do, think, feel or believe - everything feels  different even though nothing has changed except me.

So on Day 20 of 40 days of gratefulness, I'm grateful for the change ... within me. #beblessed #40daysofgratefulness