40 Days of Gratefulness - Day 13

I was actually trying to hold off on this one to later but I can not. Can I tell you I've been consumed with this blog? It's interesting (no, coincidences, right - you see the recurring theme) that my roomie (Day 23), LG would comment just yesterday on how I've magically found time to blog. By the way, LG, I love you for that post. She would not be exaggerating. I'm nervous about using 'it came to me' but there is something new, exciting, strangely unfamiliar and familiar at work here. Now, let's not get ahead of ourselves, I don't know what's in store after these 40 days but these last two weeks have been incredible.

You see, with this blog, everyday is a new opportunity to look for something to be grateful for - my 3rd grade mind (Day 9) is busy all the time. I dreamt several times this week that I was running uphill fast - it wasn't like I was afraid or running away from something. I simply was running full steam ahead, my breathing was tight, it was easy, the weather was gorgeous, I had a good rhythm and I was relaxed. I couldn't see what was up the hill - I was simply just running. I don't know what that was about (cause I'm no runner) but I am open to the possibility - I'll keep you posted when 'it comes to me.'

With my mind a constant swirl of ideas -- trying to think of some way to capture what I'm thinking and feeling, putting it to paper and documenting it with pictures -- you would think I'm overwhelmed. Doing anything for 40 days is a reach but my mind and heart are clear.  Could it be that I have less things I'm worrying about? Don't let me find out being grateful will reduce my blood pressure. Headaches bothering you? Be grateful. Arm in a sling? Be grateful. Got Diabetes? Get Grateful. You can see where this thing could go. Now, I don't know what day 20 or day 30 will look like. Will I be grateful for Costco or hand sanitizer? But in the meantime - I'll continue to be open to the possibility - dare I say it aloud - His will. There's no way I'm just coming up with this stuff. If I can be still and learn to listen more? Whew, I'm growing nervous discussing such things casually on a blog but it's simply where my mind is. Let me change the subject less I'll be in here all day - calling up my praying Sistas-in-Love (Day 3) trying to figure this thing out.

Yesterday was crazy busy. Afterwards, I was looking forward to some bootcamp - planks, baby! But, a friend called me, she was in a jam - it just so happens that she came across the blog yesterday and that she would need me for a ride. Riiight? There are no coincidences. We had good conversation about introspection and change. So there I was derailed from bootcamp and off to the emergency room. Another friend joined us and I hate to say it but we had a good time connecting. Funny how a spill down the stairs and trip to emergency room would clear our schedules. You see even when life gets in the way, when I'm busy making plans and trying to adhere to schedules, when I'm focused on doing other things ... somewhere unconsciously I'm still looking for something to be grateful for. We actually had fun connecting in the Urgent Care Center. REALLY? Yup, Really. There's a hand clap somewhere in there -- wish I could shake my 'quiet in church' Episcopal upbringing ;-)

I can't tell you how much fun I've had blogging. I've laughed and shed a few tears while writing. Some mornings, I say a little prayer, asking to be more grateful and other days, things simply fall into my heart and make their way onto these pages. I particularly had a fabulous session photographing, Karamel. Here she is again in her street clothes. Nice watch, Karamel! It was funny b/c my roomie (Day 23) came upstairs and said 'Was that bear wearing different clothes?' She just shook her head and kept it moving. So far, Day 1 and Day 10 are my favorites - it brought up a lot of fond memories. As for my time, I must admit, my journaling has pretty much come to a crawl - I am behind on my Daily Devotional (I'll catch up this week-end) and the dirty clothes pile is taller than I am. But it's all good cause I'm more grateful.

40 Days of Gratefulness - Day 1

Could it be that something that started on a whim, just a few hours after the Ash Wednesday service  - would leave me with such clarity about things that I'm grateful for - or even highlight things I'm ashamed of - they too may make their way on these pages soon - so that I can chose to be different. One thing I've learned in these last few days is that gratefulness is a bonafied, choice. While I wasn't certain what 'choosing gratefulness' was going to look like, I thought perhaps, it looks like me journaling but I didn't journal everyday. Someone bought me that journal for Christmas - there are no coincidences. Then the idea was for me to post to facebook, ensuring I was accountable, that I could post quickly and that I would actually finish. I sometimes -- not often do I set out to do things and fall short but once I'm in ... I'm in. This is why Day 1 doesn't appear on the blog.  Here is that first post.

Now, my obsession isn't simply with the writing and taking pictures. It's with the idea that this blog could be relevant to more than little old me. It's with the folks who are reading this somewhere in Germany and the UK. Hey, if you read this today, shoot me an email (justkaramel@gmail.com) or leave a comment, I'd love to hear how it came across your path. It's in the comments, emails, text, facebook posts and likes. It's how folks are so encouraging, supportive and affirming. It's in the faces of those folks who I've shared the URL with. Their gaze is just a little different - like they see me differently. Could it be that I've changed already and we're only a third of the way in? Someone called just yesterday -- she wants to discuss the blog more at our leisure. I could tell she was moved ... moved not by me .... but by whose words are pouring into me. Whew - this thing is making me nervous. [ASIDE: I just told my roomie, this blog was making me nervous. She yelled at me 'Stop institutionalizing it.' LOL - What even does that mean?]

So on Day 13 of 40 days of gratefulness, I'm grateful for this blog, for 'choosing gratefulness' and for more grateful eyes. #beblessed #40daysofgratefulness